Screwed Over by a Guy? Never...NOT!

Guys? They are the people that us girls cant seem to get out of our heads. I have heard endless stories about how horrible guys have made people's lives, i never believed them. I always had a great outcome with guys, we would date have our fun and move on, never any hard feelings. Until now.
I never expected to develop feelings for him, we hardly even were friends. It wasn't until my best friend started dating him that i got to know who he really was. I got to like him as strictly a friend. Every night of the week the three of us, and sometimes others, would hang out. We had many good times that r still some of the best memories i have. Then he held my hand, the moment everything changed. He started expressing different feelings towards me, not in words, but in actions. It scared me at first for two reasons, one he was with my best friend and two i never looked at him that way. I decided to shrug it off at first, i dealt with it and he kept doing it. Then he finally talked about it, he told me he liked me too. I had been in such a bad place at that time that it felt good to hear someone wanted me. I fell for it. We began our secret affair, at the age of 16. It wouldn't happen often, but when his girlfriend wasn't out or after she went home we would sneak out together. I was screwing my best friend over. There were times that i felt guilty, but most the time it didn't phase me. It felt good to just have fun and be a little risque. We had our on going thing for about 5 months then his girlfriend, my best friend started to turn on me and not like me a single bit. me and the guy couldn't figure it out. I had another friend talk to her and figure out what was wrong. Apparently she seen us holding hands one night and began to hate me. It made me so angry that she assumed something was going on, even though there was. So now it was even harder for me and him to be together ever. but when we did it was amazing. after 2 1/2 yrs they broke up. I thought FINALLY we can be together whenever we wanted. and for a while that happened...and it was great. When i moved 2 hrs away for school we decided to be together on the weekends i would come home. I came home often for that reason. Then he started to play me, bad. He would tell me how much he wanted to see me and what we would do and how much he liked me, and when i got there he would sorta flirt and try things with me. But then he would tell other people, mainly his sister, how much he hated me and that he thought i was annoying. When i found that out i freaked out. Why would he do that to me. My anger turned to hurt and pain. I realized what all the girls were talking about when they said that guys act one way to u and a totally other way when you're not there. I was so upset, i never wanted to go out with him, but i thought what we did have was mutual. i thought we both just felt comfortable being together sometimes. i had decided a while b4 that, that as soon as either of us were in another serious relationship that we wouldn't be together anymore. Did something change in his head? it would have been nice if he told me. or if he didn't have the same feelings for me, he could have told me, we told each other everything..at least i thought we did. My emotions were a wreck. I had lost a best friend over him, he screwed me over royally, and on top of it all, my ex best friend and the guy are back together. How dumb is she? she knows he cheats on her with more people than me, but yet she still goes after him. Maybe he decided to be faithful to one person, so he ended things with me...and just didn't say it. I don't exactly no how to move on, i have hit dead end with feelings. I just want to be over it all. i guess maybe deep down i did want to go out with him, but more than anything i wanted to be wanted. I know it will be a hard road to get over him, but i am ready to, i just wish i knew how. Because i know if he was to want to get together tomorrow night i would probably say OK and do it, and make it even harder on myself, i have to learn to say no and MOVE ON! If anyone has a story like this, or just has any ideas where i should go from here please let me know i am willing to do anything. Thank you.

friends can truly shape who you are!

~~Dreams are the windows to the world~~
A quote that is very meaningful to me. It was a quote that represented me and 8 of my best friends as we left our small town of 200 and some odd people to start a new chapter of our lives. It was our graduation 2007 quote. For 13 years of my life i was with the same 6 people, not many people are able to say that. In a town that has as few people as mine did i learnt how to deal with being around the same people all the time. We seen each other through the good times and the many bad times, we had to stick by each other at some points in our 13 yrs together we didn't think we would be able to see and talk to each other ever again, that always lasted all of about 12 hours. Between seeing each other at school 5 days a week, partying together on weekends, study groups before those awful math tests and lets not forget the dating relationships in there, we became closer than i have seen anyone else. We had our years when not everyone got along, but it was our grade 12 year that we all became best friends, along with the addition of 2 exchange students (the best we ever had). There was so many amazing memories in those last 10 months we were together. It saddened us all on our grad night when we realized we would never be together again and we would never find friends like that. We went out one last time as a class and had one of the greatest nights of our lives. Nothing and no one will ever replace the people and memories we had together, but what it did do was change the people were and made us into the people we are today. Adults. That's a scary thought but its true. I may not be perfect but being with those people for 13 yrs helped me become the best person i could possibly be...for now! There are still many things that have happened and will happen and are happening right now that are changing me in many ways. But i will always remember and will look back on those years of school and i know that it will always guide me the right way to make the best decision possible. This is just the begging of many things that i have weighing down on me that i need to release, but i thought it would be a good idea to start on a good note and let people see how much friends can help alter the person you are into the person u want to be. If there was one thing i could say to my former classmates it would be: Thank you for the amazing years, the good times and even the bad. You have helped me so much and you mean the world to me. I love you all, miss you all, and think of you everyday.

I would like to end this with the lyrics from the song that my class walked out to at our graduation:

Miss You- Social Code

I'm out here on my own

Feeling lost and all alone

I'm mad that you were gone

All my friends are moving on

[Chorus]

I'll miss you forever

I'll miss you always

Good bye is so hard

But I'll say it anyway

The silence after

this disaster

Can't keep my laughter from healing all my pain

This story's getting old

This dusty picture's growing mould

I feel trapped inside this place

If only one last time Just you and I

Could stand here face to face

[Chorus]

I'll miss you forever

I'll miss you always

Good bye is so hard

But I'll say it anyway

The silence after this disaster

Can't keep my laughter from healing all my pain

Time stands still

Every time

You come to mind

Just like

It did that day

when you chose to walk away

[Chorus]

I'll miss you forever

I'll miss you always

Good bye is so hard

But I'll say it anyway

I'll miss you forever

I'll miss you always

Good bye is so hard

But I'll say it anyway

I'll say it anyway

I'll say it anyway

I'll say it anyway

I'll miss you always